Just a warning, this will more then likely be a depressing blog so if you don't want to know what's bothering me then just don't read it.
Okay, so I am really upset, and for a lot of reasons to be honest. But this blog will just be about the one that is bothering me the most.
LOVE: This subject has really got me down. I mean, just yesterday, I literally fell asleep crying my eyes out. I am in love with someone who just doesn't even seem to care at all. We used to be best friends. Everything was absolutely perfect. We went to each other for everything. He meant everything to me, he still does. He is so much to me and so much in my life, and anymore he just doesn't act like he even wants to be apart of my life. Of course, even when things were going well, I was still in love with him and things were really hard on me, but I got through because at least I still got to talk to him all the time and really communicate and get to know him even more. But then things got complicated. He got to busy for our friendship, for me. And now it's like I don't even matter. And no matter how many times I try to explain this situation to people, they just don't get it. It sounds like no big deal to them, but no one sees the kind of pain I'm going through. I'm not just losing a friend or another person in my life or anything like that, I am losing my best friend and the man I am in love with. It really takes so much out of me, and people just want me to give up on the whole situation. But you see, I'm not that kind of person. I don't give up on things, I put all my effort into them. If I give up, I am losing so much of my life and going against my own ways of life. I just don't know what I am supposed to do. I am losing someone in my life that means so much, and everyone sees it as nothing. It never leaves my mind, and every time I try to get in touch with the man I love, be it from me just texting or calling him, he hardly responds, and each time I die a little more inside. I just wish I could have a chance. Things may not work out with him in the end, but at least that way I would know. I would know things weren't meant to be, but when the other person is too afraid to give you a chance, it makes you depressed. I know it sure has me depressed. And I can't help but think that it's because of the way I am, inside and out, that he truly won't give me a chance. I hope to God that that reason isn't the real reason, but with the way things have gone before with other people, I can't help but think that. I just wish he knew, wish he understood how I felt, because no matter how many times I try to tell him or anything like that, he just doesn't seem to get it. I don't know. Perhaps I am wasting my time, wasting my life, but I really can't help it, I love him.
About Me
- WanderingSoul82
- My name is Samantha, though anymore people just call my Sam, which is okay, but I do prefer Samantha. I still have a whole life ahead of me, and even though it may get tough and complicated at times, I still find ways to get through it. I am surrounded by people I absolutely love and adore, as well as people who are just there, but that is pretty much the life of a human. I absolutely love school, it's the one thing in life that I am good at. I hold a steady job and get involved in clubs at school. I absolutely love Forensics club, and its not the study of dead bodies, but rather a speech club. For the most part, people like me and I have a deep way of thinking most of the time, even though I try not to show it, but perhaps, in this blog, I just might.
