So I am definitely noticing that the people around me are happy. And my whole life I have done nothing but try to make the people I know and love happy, thinking that would make me happy as well. As I notice people living life and smiling, I can't help but notice that I am miserable.
Now don't take that the wrong way. I am absolutely thrilled to see the people I love getting where they want to go. But my own life is getting me no where. My very grades seem to be slipping from underneath me. I have no love life, unless you include my love for people who will never love me. My family is falling apart. Whether it is my brothers causing shit in their own lives and the rest of ours, or my dad being in the hospital day in and day out, things just aren't going so well.
As I find myself in this depressingly dark hole, I can't help but look around and see that I am all by myself. Of course I see many people walking around the hole in the ground, staring down at me in my ragged clothes and dirty face, and I see sympathy. They say "Hold on! Let me find a rope and I will get you out! Just hang in there!" And as I sit here with high hopes waiting for the people who I have always been there to come back and repay the favor, they just never show up. Days and days later, no one is there. And each day there are less and less people walking by. No, scratch that. There are probably more people then ever walking by, but there is no one stopping to even care that I am stuck down here.
Thanks people. And as much as I say these people will one day get what they deserve or that one day they will need me and I will turn my back on them as they did me, I can't really say that. I am just not that kind of person no matter what the circumstances may be. I will always be here for the people in my life. It just isn't right and I know it isn't right. And even though I sit here and complain about it, I still won't do anything about it. Pointless right?
I just won't go on from here. Although I believe this blog is yet unfinished, I will not continue with it now. Perhaps at a later date.
About Me
- WanderingSoul82
- My name is Samantha, though anymore people just call my Sam, which is okay, but I do prefer Samantha. I still have a whole life ahead of me, and even though it may get tough and complicated at times, I still find ways to get through it. I am surrounded by people I absolutely love and adore, as well as people who are just there, but that is pretty much the life of a human. I absolutely love school, it's the one thing in life that I am good at. I hold a steady job and get involved in clubs at school. I absolutely love Forensics club, and its not the study of dead bodies, but rather a speech club. For the most part, people like me and I have a deep way of thinking most of the time, even though I try not to show it, but perhaps, in this blog, I just might.
